Writing a Sex Scene

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First off I don’t want my book to be like fifty shades of grey in any way possible. Second i didn’t plan on my book having this type of scene. But in every book I have ever read where there is a romance narrative there has been a sex scene. I guess this follows the saying that “sex sells” because women seem to read harlequin novels faster than any other genre. I am not one of those women but as I am writing a scene which highlights Amanda and Nate’s relationship I realize that I do enjoy the sex scenes. Only in the sense this it is an easy way to show a couple’s bond and the strength of their relationship. Hence how I started to write a sex scene.

Right away I realized how under qualified I am to write a good sex scene. As I read it over I realized that it felt weird and staged. Then I started to think about movies I’ve seen and yes, I even dabbled in some memories I have from my own romantic life. Soon I was able to come up with a believable scenario. Once I was done rewriting it I reread it and realized how awkward it was. I couldn’t believe it. I thought I had incorporated everything I figured would make it feel realistic but it didn’t work. I wasn’t sure how to make it more believable and still appeal to women readers. I considered scrapping the whole page but then I thought that it had became an important part to the chapter. I didn’t want it to be cheesy or childish but I also didn’t want it to boarder on porn.

So I emailed the scene to my boyfriend. He might have to get an editorial note in my book for the amount of help he has given me. He read the scene and right away said it was sappy and boring. He also said he felt very awkward reading it. That I knew would happen, considering that it is a normal reaction. He wanted to help so he sent me some feedback on how I can jazz up the scene to seem more appealing. I took his pointers in to account and changed the scene so it made more sense. It now flows and doesn’t feel as awkward.

I wouldn’t say I am an expert writer. I also wouldn’t say I am extremely qualified to write a novel but I wanted this project to be a learning process. I realize now that it is. I am constantly learning during this process. Taking creative non fiction was like running a 5K. Writing a novel is like running a marathon. I now have to get used to pacing myself and pushing my writing to make it last for 200+ pages. But writing this sex scene taught me that I am always going to run in to obstacles during my writing journey. It is how I handle these obstacles that matters most.

Here is my completed sex scene that I am very proud of:

After dinner they lie down on the couch to watch a movie. Amanda quickly falls asleep on Nate’s chest. Normally when this happens Nate waits until the end and wakes her up. He tells her it is time for bed and they walk to the bedroom together to go to sleep. As the movie starts to wind down he feels his mind begin to wander.


He falls into a series of thoughts all which remind him of how attracted he is to his future wife. He flinches and returns from the daze. Now he is extremely turned on but Amanda is still sleeping. Feeling a bit romantic, he pauses the movie and stands up from the couch. He picks Amanda up in his arms. As he carries her to the bedroom, she wakes up and is instantly confused but yet surprised by the sudden knight in shining armor gesture. She smiles and kisses him on the cheek.


As Nate lays her down on the bed he leans in and kisses her. Amanda immediately senses that this is not just an ordinary good night kiss. She can tell that Nate is really in to her and in to this moment. Realizing this, she places her hands on the back of his neck and pulls him in, instantly becoming turned on. Nate then climbs on to the bed propping himself on top of her. He gazes in to Amanda’s beautiful eyes and whispers, “I love you” and without hesitation Amanda returns in a whisper the same three powerful words. Amanda can not believe how in love she truly is.


As Nate leans in to kiss her Amanda runs her fingers through his hair. She begins to unbutton his shirt and as she begins to take it off Nate kisses her harder. She wraps her legs around him and he holds her tighter. All of a sudden Nate pulls back and pauses. He wants to see Amanda’s face. He wants to see if she is as turned on as he is. Again they lock eyes and she immediately smiles.


Nate can tell that she wants him as bad as he wants her. Knowing this he continues by gently kissing her neck and shoulders. She begins to breathe harder and runs her nails down his back. She usually waits for Nate to take off her shirt but she cannot wait any longer and sits up. Nate watches as she is about to pull her blouse off over her head. Nate gently nudges her shoulder and signals for her to lie back down on her back. He nods his head no and Amanda looks puzzled. He begins to kiss her neck then moves to her chest. Amanda is trying to control how turned on she is but it doesn’t matter, Nate can tell.


He then whispers in her ear, “I want you so bad”. Amanda reaches down to remove Nate’s belt then unbuttons his pants. After she slides off his pants he takes her blouse and lifts it over her head dropping it to the floor.


Now they are ripping the remaining of each others clothes off and kissing harder. Amanda begins to kiss and gently bite his neck and Nate finally slides himself inside her. She breathes in deep and then relaxes as he moves back and forth on top of her. She wraps her legs around his lower back while he entangles his hands in her hair, pulling it just enough. He leans in to her and rests his head on her shoulder. She breathes in the scent of his hair while their breath quickens.


Amanda moans softly as Nate quickens his pace. He picks up his head and looks in to her eyes. He grabs her hips tightly and pulls her towards him. He rocks himself back and forth and Amanda can’t help but scream as her whole body begins to shake. Nate can’t help but think that this is the best sex they have ever had.


Nate immediately slows down sensing that Amanda needs a second to catch her breath. After a few seconds go by she tells Nate to lie on his back. She climbs on top of him and again Nate slides inside her. Nate loves it when Amanda takes control, but what he loves more is watching her beautiful body on top of his.


As she begins moving back and forth slowly she can sense Nate is close to letting go but is fighting it. She then speeds up her pace. Nate grabs her chest with one hand and her side with the other and stays, “don’t stop, don’t stop.”


Amanda can’t help but smile as she watches Nate’s whole body tense. Just then he lets go. Amanda can still feel him inside her as their breath slows down. Nate then makes eye contact and takes a big deep breath. He rolls on to his side and pulls her close to him. He wraps his arms around her and kisses her on her cheek and says, “I can’t believe I’m marrying the girl of my dreams.”


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